finished the letter. this is me talking in the best cleaned up language i can do. it has to be good enough. want u to see it.

finished the letter. this is me talking in the best cleaned up language i can do. it has to be good enough. want u to see it.



so far using lawyers THINKING I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO nothing good happened to end the misery and suffering.

i am dying.  the stress has crapped out my vascular system.  i am bruising like i never did before.  headaches i never had before (in both my head and my "head" and i am getting cataraacts and probably macular degeneration isn't far away  and i am getting neuropathy.  i believe that the stress caused the sleep apnea or made it worse and then when it went into 2 hres of sleep a night for 30 days straight that was bad. so bad that when i got 5 hours i was grateful to god for the respite. well the price i believe is that certain brain function is dying in the brain that keeps the nerves healthy.  i am getting neuropathy in my feet half way up to my knees.  so what is shutting down in other parts of the body?  WHAT ORGANS? 
 
I WANT TO LIVE but whatever is clicking inside me doesn't want to let go and run away from the beating the court is giving me.  juri is insane, stupid and stuborn.
 
i am going to follow it up with another letter  to the judge for his eyes only and a seperate letter to modris and it will have a offer but he might be too damage to let go like i am not going to let go. he goes public he is in a world of financial problems. in the letter i will extend the olive branch but he has to demonstrate repentence.  if not he knows i will send out letters to various government agbencies and and tell them about his dad.  the lawyers will eat up all that family has.  it will be brutal.  i have been walking around with his secrets for almost 20 years and he knows it.  why he lied an made up bad shit about it is unbelievable seeing he knows what i know about his pop.  but i have done stupid things in the past so who knows who does stupid shit.  My intention is to win honorably and honestly.  to salvage my relationship with moroz is secondary.
 
blah blah blah.  i just need someone to talk to to talk with.